I am a little lost.....

Yea, weird for me saying this. I am a bit lost now, searching for the 'me' that is drifting to else where and I am trying to get that 'me' back as soon as possible. You might which 'me' am I talking about now. Well, I am referring to the 'me', back during NS.

That 'me' includes being :-
*quite confident
*quite easily accepted by others
*sporting
*forever willing

I lost some of these things during my stay here in Sunway and gradually turning back into the very, with the capital V, passive and cold Teh Tat Yang. I don't want that, I'd left that heavy shell behind and I don't wanna be inside it anymore. Something within me is changing, at quite a fast rate. The most obvious is my self confidence, being once an emcee and even a 'Ketua Kompeni', I would getting very nervous before an orral presentation....come on, i spoken in front of a crowd the size of 400++ and now a presentation got the better of me. Something definately is wrong somewhere. But, luckilly as for today, i felt a little more of the 'me' in me. I wasn't really nervous about the group presentation (maybe due to the fact that its in a group, i hope not) and was quite ready but just to get our group's presentation postponed. Great huh....now i would need to reset my mental state for tomorrow.

Besides, I am getting very passive recently, during my Junior Leadership's meeting, I hardly spoken, whats wrong with me? Back in camp, I used to lead in my company's meeting and now I am merely listening with not much thought in my mind. Where are you? I really need you back inside me now, I had enough of being a spectator long enough back in high school.

Guess, one song can really help drive me towards getting myself back. Angra's - "Rebirth". Think I'll sing or shout it out with much passion, think that is what i need now, to release what is within me. *sigh*....come back.

Angra - Rebirth

Cooling breeze from a summer day
Hearing echoes from your heart
Learning how to recompose the words
Let time just fly

Joyful sea-gulls roaming on the shore
Not a single note would sound
Raise my hand after i dry my face
Let time just fly

Recalling, retreating
Returning, retrieving
A small talk your missing
More clever but older now

A leader, a learner
A lawful beginner
A lodger of lunacy
So lucid in a jungle
A helper, a sinner
A scarecrow's agonyzing smile

Oh! Minutes go round and round
Inside my head
Oh! My chest will now explode
Falling into pieces
Rain breaks on the ground-blood!

One minute forever
A sinner regretting
My vulgar misery ends

(And I) Ride the winds of a brand new day
High where mountain's stand
Found my hope and pride again
Rebirth of a man

Time to fly.....